In a world where sex has become more casual, stress might be the biggest turn-off there is. When your mind and body are preoccupied with issues, including the intangible anxiety of job security, it’s hard to focus on anything else. And when you can’t think about anything but what’s stressing you out, it’s tough to get amped up for sex.
It doesn’t help that work stress has been linked to some pretty icky effects on your bodily functions — like depression or erectile dysfunction.
All these potential low-sex-drive offenders are on your mind — stress, worry and depression. But how does one calm the other?
How to Reduce Stress and Improve Your Sex Life Naturally
- Make time for intimacy
If you’re too tired or unmotivated to have sex, it’s natural to put it off. But make sure that even though you’re a bit short on time, you’re still connecting with your partner on a personal level. Spend some quality time together, unplugged from TVs and cell phones, and share stories about what’s going on with each of your respective days — big or small. Just spending some time together is enough to boost your mood, and sex will follow.
- Cut back on the number of stressors in your life
If you have a lot on your plate at work or at home, prioritize what’s most important. It might be a good idea to avoid the day-to-day activities that are stress producing, like working long hours or planning your next move at work. If you want to stick with it, at least make sure you’re making healthy choices. If you’re working long hours, try taking a few days to step back — at least for a short period of time — and do some self-care like exercising or sleeping as much as possible.
- Make sure you have enough sleep
When you’re sleep-deprived, your mind and body go through withdrawal. Your body doesn’t produce enough of the hormones that make you feel happy. You become more irritable, and that comes out in your relationships with others (especially if you’re short on patience). Sleep deprivation also leads to concentration problems and memory issues that can interfere with your work — or even lead to mistakes that put your job in jeopardy.
- Say “no” to extra responsibilities at work
If you’re feeling stressed, it’s likely that your boss or someone else at work has piled on the extra work and you’ve been asked to do more. First thing’s first, speak up — tell your boss how you feel. If she agrees to lighten your workload, then great! But if she can’t, then try saying “no” to some of the new things you’ve been asked to do. Borrowing time from your personal life isn’t worth it if it means an increase in stress at work.
- Don’t let others stress you
It goes both ways. If you’re stressed out because work is too much, don’t hand your responsibilities to someone else and walk away. If it’s too much for you, help someone else shoulder the burden if you can or at least do your best to focus on what needs to be done instead of worrying about everything else at work.
- Unplug from the Internet, TV and other distractions
The more time you spend with digital distractions like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest, the less time you have to focus on your own priorities — like managing your stress. You’re not in control of all the messages that pop up across your devices every day, but you can control how much time you spend with them. What are you going to do when people ask what’s on TV? When’s dinner getting ready? Stop replying — for at least a few hours a day.
- Get some physical exercise
Studies have shown that exercise is associated with better sex. If you’re not already working out, ask your partner if they’d like to go together. Sometimes when you have no other choice, a quick walk around the block or a quick round of tennis can make all the difference in the world.
- Look after yourself and take care of your body
If you’re living with a dietary deficiency, it’s likely that it’s affecting both your physical and emotional health. Try to eat a healthy breakfast, include at least one serving of vegetables in each meal and stay active by stretching or taking a few laps around the block or up the stairs at work. You probably already know that you need to get enough sleep and maintain a healthy weight. If you’re not taking care of yourself, who else can?.
- Take a vacation
Travel breaks can be helpful for anyone, but for those who are feeling stressed out about work or family life, it can really help put things into perspective. When you’re on vacation with no responsibilities, everything’s in perspective — you can see what’s important and what time is better spent relaxing. Take a day trip to the ocean or maybe just walk your dog and clear your head.
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Keep in mind that your body will always respond to stress
If you want better sex, it’s going to take some work from within. Stress might be a non-issue at the moment, but it could come back at any time. When it does, you’ll be ready.
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